I wasn't trying to post twice today.
Nobody even fucking cares.
Who looks at this blog?
No one. Except for me, and maybe a couple of my friends.
The thing is, after today, I feel so alone.
People always tell you, "you are not alone".
I don't know if I can take this anymore.
What's the point of educating people
If no one is listening?
What's the point of standing up for what's right
If no one gives a fuck?
I felt so much shame
And so much disappointment
People who tried to make me feel better about the situation,
telling me,
You should expect this,
The world is going to be worse.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I fucking know.
Okay?
I fucking know.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry y'all,
I'm sorry I expected to be treated like a fucking human being.
I'm sorry I wanted someone to acknowledge people like me exist.
I'm sorry that I thought the BLA community was better than that.
I thought we were educated.
I thought
I thought
I thought
I want to give up,
but I want to believe there is someone out there,
who needs my help.
Or who sees what I'm doing, coming out, and feels safer.
But I don't feel safe right now y'all.
I really
really
don't.
I'm done.
Instead of "You are not alone", I would like to say that people are use to what society tells them to the point where they can't think on their own in a sense. People tend to be very mean on a topic they don't understand and think they are right. But truth be told, it is just their perspective and ignorance that they spew out. I know you are trying your best, just be brave and push forward-even on hard times like this.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I do feel like you are helping others in ways. You may not know it yet but I feel like you do. Also, your blog is the only one that I basically read anyway :P Teehee :D
Don't give up. I know you don't think you're helping anybody but you are, whether it's inside BLA or out, you are helping someone and you should believe that. You are strong, brave and yes there are people who are ignorant and won't understand you, but don't give up. Show them, prove them wrong. You're making a difference, believe it.
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate y'alls words of encouragement.
Makes me wanna keep on going.
And I will.
Ps. Larissa, how'd you know I had a blog?