Bad News.

Every time I think society is headed in the right direction or whatever, I'm proved wrong.
Today on tumblr I saw yet another lgbtq+ teen has committed suicide.
Fuck.

Her name was Leelah Alcorn.
She was Trans.
She was rejected by her family.
Sent to conversion therapy and told she was just having a phase.

She walked right into the street to get hit by an oncoming truck.

The Trans life expectancy is only 30 years.
30 fucking years.

A Trans woman is reported murdered every 32 hours.

Black Trans women are murdered more frequently.

How many people have to die until we realize we have to make changes?
Marriage equality is great.
But what about some fucking safety??

How about acceptance and loving everyone?

Why is it hard to do that?

Featured this week: Alyssandra :D

I feel bad, because I haven't been posting much lately, 

And I don't know how many people actually look at my blog/posts, but for those of you who do, 

It probably gets boring looking at the same shit when you refresh the page. 

So, I'm sorry, 

I have been really fucking uninspired. 

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw having a writer's block. (Sex and the City)

If anyone has something related to what my blog is about (LGBTQ+ things), a topic or a question, 

I can talk about that and actually post something.

Okay, okay, okay, enough of my stupid rant, time to get to what's really important, 

this week's Featured Friend!

All of my friends are part of a family I've created for myself, but this person in particular is like an older sister to me. 

She's powerful, an advocate, educated, and has a big heart, 

This is my friend Alyssandra. 

(All of this info she sent me word for word)

Name: Alyssandra Lynette Audrey Taylor

Pronouns: She, Hers, Her

School: Emerson College

Likes: Good Food, good books, real people, nice people, Scandal,HTGAWM, good television, Sci-fi movies and my boyfriend, video games, writing, reading, creating, acting

Dislikes: Racism ( Especially in the way Amerikkka is run), Fake People, bad books, television, ignorant people, unsupportive family members, and a whole bunch of there shit I can't think of.

About me: I'm 20, a sophomore in college, actor, writer, director, drag queen, pretty bitch, and reading enthusiast who lives in Boston, MA. I'm a trans pansexual woman of color who is an activist for women (and people) of color, including our LGBT brothers and sisters who are normally ignored in campaigns such as #BLACKLIVESMATTER. I'm a crazy person, but a lovable crazy person <3 Happily in a relationship with a Trans man. Idk what else to write so byeeeeee ❤

GOOD NEWS!!!

Good News:

The US FDA officially lifted its ban gay blood donors!

Hooray! :D

Featured this week: Ny :D

Happy Sunday my little Cupcakes!

It's the start of a new week, and you know what that means:

That's right! A new featured friend!

This weeks friend is like an older sister to me.

She cares about me, and tries to keep me out of trouble.

She is very independent, strong, a true leader.

This is my friend Ny :)

(All of this info she sent me word for word)

Name: Ny

Pronouns: She/Her(s)

School: UMass Boston

Likes: Mary Lambert, Women, playing music, theatre, friends, Respect, Elephants, Giraffes, Great Danes, FOOD, smoothies, lacrosse, ART, Volleyball, dreads, rasta colors, Ellen DeGeneres, queer people...

Dislikes: Rude people, onions, Olives, hatred, inequality, this world, black/brown injustice, mental health stigma, drugs, ugly pants, cocky people, the smell of gasoline, winter, misunderstanding, cops, prisons, doing dishes, people not willing to grow and/or educate themselves, arguing....

About me: Hey yall im Nyyyyy, I Identify as a lesbian/queer woman but when saying fuck labels which is most of the time. I identify as Ny :) I guess I could tell you about where I'm from and all that but I'd rather just get into the good stuff and talk about on of the most important things that describes me in one and that's Music. I've been playing guitar for a few years and singing as well. Music has brought me closer to myself but it has also allowed me to see the effects of the world. I love to play at open mics and just for a little crowd but I def love playing for a crowd. Some people listen to music and don't really have an effect but rather just listen to it to pass time or what not. However whenever when I'm listening to GOOD music or playing I enter a whole other place. The pitches, the notes, the chords the beats, the lyrics, all of it is essentially what keeps me going.

Add me on Facebook bloggers: Ny Wallace❤️

Special Feature this week: Alex :D

Hello Lovelies!

All my friends are special but this is a momentous occasion, this is a special issue of 3 Cheers featured friend series.

Coming out: To disclose to a friend, family member, etc. that you are LGBTQ + (usually)

Coming out isn't always easy. 

It takes a lot of steps to embrace yourself, love who you are, be proud, and share that with others.

Today, my friend Alex, whom I've known since my freshman year of high school, came out to me.

We've stuck together through the hardest of times. She's an amazing ally.

I'm so proud of her.

I hope she's proud of herself.

Happy Coming Out Birthday Baby.

I love you.

Name: Alex

Pronouns: She, her, hers 

School: UMass Boston

Likes: Food, music, poetry, writing, reading, TV, dancing, rain, sunshine, love, smiles, showers, cuddly hugs, social justice  

Dislikes: The MBTA, ignorance, mean people

About me: Hi guyys. I'm Alex as you probably already know. I think I'm a cool person. I recently just came out as bisexual and it's official now so..yay :). It took me some time but I know that inside it's true and I should embrace it <3. I'm thankful for all my awesome friends Kyle and everyone else that make me feel comfortable being myself and making me feel like I'm perfect just the way I am. So, I love you. I try to take every day as it comes and it's not how many times you fall down but how many times you get back up. There is beauty in everything and I'm trying to keep those positive vibes flowing. I want to travel the world and see all the beautiful things in this world. Social justice is one of my passions and I will continue to do it and try to make the world better because it's so important to me to be the change I want to see. :) <3 

By January 9th...

I talked to my guidance counselor today.
I'm finally going to get my name changed in the system, and the yearbook!

One obstacle still remains: My mom.

The reason is because, of course I gave the school my mom's number,
So they call her, whenever I'm late and absent.
I don't care,
However, she's going to be super pissed when they call and tell her that her son Kyle Diaz is absent.

So,
Ms.Farrar, Mr.EJ, The school therapist, Ms.Estrada (acting as translator) and I
Are going to sit down with my mom
And tell her she doesn't have a daughter,
But a son.

I'm praying she doesn't throw shit at me.
Fuck, she's going to cry and be disappointed.
Hell, she might even kick me out of the house.

But I don't care,
I don't want to live like this anymore.

By January 9th, 2015,
a burden will be lifted from my shoulders.

And I can't wait :)

(Nervous and scared but still excited)

This is NOT okay.

What the fuck. That is the immediate thought that pops into my head.

Today after school I was talking to a teacher, writing a college recommendation for me.

She thought things were changing. 

Becoming better for Trans people.

This, like many other things, says otherwise.

We are still fighting for respect.

For privacy.

To be able to be ourselves and express ourselves in any way.

The fact that this person can't transition without media scrutiny is blasphemous.

We can't sit there and assume we know what's happening with someone.

That's ignorance.

This could be a great opportunity to show the world to embrace differences.

To sit down with the person and ask them what's going on, when They are ready to speak, and tell their story.

This is fucking disrespectful.

Featured this week: Michael :D

Michael is Beyyy. (Yes that's how I spell Bey)

I met him this past summer when he started working with me and I don't think I've met anyone quite like him. He's very sweet, super respectful. We share A LOT of the same views.

And on top of that, he's an amazing dancer.

I love Michael very much :)

(All this info he sent me word for word)

(Yes, that is me in the background of his selfie)

Name: Michael Kyriakidis

Pronouns: He, him, his

School: Boston Latin School

Likes: Nice people, money, talking to people about controversial topics, respect, music, tv, YouTube,

Dislikes: being rude, rude people, applying to college, beets, pie

About me: I am an 17 year old cis*, bi, white guy. I'm Greek, and both of my parents came to America as children.  I'm not very good at sports, though I really enjoy playing soccer and jogging, not running, with other people.  I'm a feminist, and try to speak with my actions, though I slip up quite often.  I'm a very open person, and try to keep an open mind when relating other people.  I really wish I was more talented musically or artistically, that would be pretty cool.  I'm also not ready to graduate from high school, life seems scary.

*In case y'all forgot, Cis is short for Cisgender, which means you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth

I've Got a Story to tell: Gay Rights

I just got this email and within this email was a really righteous video that these cute little 7th graders made, 

Check it out:

Gay Rights

Girls.

God y'all, I'm so fucked.
So, there's this girl I think is really cute.

I act like a complete dumbass in front of her.
I stutter and I don't know what to say.
But she talks to me anyways, even though I'm a complete loser.

So she told me she's coming to my show tomorrow.
Fuck.
I act like a bigger dumbass in the show.
And she told me she's bringing her friends.

Oh God.
This is going to be terrible.


Why do I keep crushing on people?

Dreams?

So...
I'm in this theater troupe, called True Colors.
Basically, we educate people through theater about the lgbtq+ community.
We're activists.
We have this community performance this Tuesday and as usual, I'm nervous as fuck.
Its a musical. About dreams.
Our dreams, dreams for our community, dreams for the future, dreams of activists who came before, like Angela Davis.
Its kinda corny, but its made me think a lot, like hardcore overthinking, about my own dreams.

My dreams: Getting into college, Getting my name and gender marker changed legally...
Dreams for the community: Homes, Clothes, Hormones, Medical care, Education, Legal protection and access to shared history, community, safety, respect...
Dreams of activists who came before: Very similar dreams and goals that I have...

The title of our show is "Louder than Words".
And I guess what that means is that, having dreams can be nice and all. But you have to take action. You have to take action, and, "be the change you want to see in the world.

There's a lot I want to change, and make my dreams a reality.

Do y'all dream? What are your dreams for yourself, your community, the future?

Featured this week: Alexis :D

Sorry I'm so super late this week with the featured friend, technical difficulties.
No worries though, this won't happen again.
This is a new friend I've made this year, Alexis. She's supportive and loyal and honest. She's great.

(All this info is what she sent me word for word)

Name: Alexis 

Pronouns: She, Her, Hers

Age: 18

School: Boston Latin Academy 

Likes: Boxing. Guitar/Music. Open Minded People. Poetry. Tea. The Fall. Christmas Lights. Dark Colors. Dancing. Peace. Pizza. Making Other People Happy. Debating. Beyonce.

Dislikes: Rude/Ignorant People. Spiders. Negativity.  Broken Promises. Stereotypes. Red Peppers. Dishonesty. Ice On The Ground.

About Me: Hayy , I'm Alexis (: I would describe myself as a really positive person. I just try to find the good in every situation or person because I realized negativity doesn't make much progress in my life. Because of that I can seem pretty vulnerable and innocent but that's not entirely true. My passions are boxing, teaching self defense, and hopes of being a Police Officer some day. Im just sick of our generation saying "F" the system instead of trying to "be" the system and change it, and thats what my goal is as of now. Aside from that, I'm so in love with poetry and music, it's something I could never get enough of. I don't like to label myself too often, I really like whoever I like regardless of their identity and those factors. I guess the most important thing to know about me would be that I'm all about living life, surrounding myself with positive people, and doing whatever makes me and those I love happy (:

Love Vs. Faith?

I've been feeling lost, but First Friday Open Mic at the First Baptist church in JP, really revitalizes my soul. My pain is left outside the church doors and I enter a sanctum of safety, love, and community. There's lots of rad spoken word, people, and food. 

Everyone is accepted at this church, regardless of race, beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity, and more,

First Fridays are an open space. Poets preach about Ferguson, Feminism, Friendship, being of color, being queer, love, sex and more.

They are Anti sexism, racism, heterosexism, cisgenderism and other shitty things.

All in all, its just a beautiful space. 

People sometimes use their beliefs to shun people, and hate others, for no good reason.

My God loves everyone. My love is my faith. I don't want to choose. I won't choose.

I invited my peeps, Julyn and Stevie, who haven't been feeling the faith lately, and brought them to the open mic so they could check it out.

Afterwards, I asked them a couple questions about the experience.

"You can't choose homelessness"

Today I went to the Boston Regional GSA meeting at Madison Park High.

We were joined by the Massachusetts Housing and Shelter Alliance, or MAHASA, speaker's bureau.

It was such a powerful experience listening to the stories of three very different speakers: Becca, Karter, and Cheryl. Different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, sexual orientations, and more.

We heard about their lives, before, during, and after they were homeless. We heard about their struggles, with family, within themselves, with their environments. Their resilience is truly inspiring, it makes me not want to give up. 

Homelessness is a serious problem in society, very much so in the lgbtq+ and mentally ill communities. Youth being kicked out for being themselves and having no where to go. It is often erased and replaced in mainstream society with issues such as Gay Marriage.

Love is beautiful, and I'm all for celebrating it, 

But people are dying out there.

No food, no clothes, no anything.

And giving back, helping people in need, saying hello and acknowledging people exist,

that's love too.

Love for people, and having compassion.

Human connection.

Its not romantic but its just as if not more important.

Hearing their stories, I had so much in common, and we didn't know each other until today.

I appreciated it.

There's a kind of distance, 

People tried to distance themselves from homeless people, like its the common cold.

Like talking to a homeless person will also make them homeless. 

People pretend they could have nothing in common with a homeless person.

I think its important to hear their voices because they are so often erased and ignored.

I don't expect people to completely rewire the way they were raised, how they think, 

it doesn't happen over night at least.

I heard this saying, its like, the first thoughts when we see someone are what we're conditioned to think and our next thoughts determine who we really are.

We just need to sit down, and get to know people, and try not to make assumptions on someone's life.

Or pretend you know people's stories. 

Let them talk and listen.

Take away things

Not all homeless people have the same story, background, or look the same.

Anyone can be homeless. Anyone.

You can have more in common with people than you think. Don't assume, sit down, listen.

You can't choose homelessness.

Who are you?

So y'all already know, I've been struggling with my identity lately. I have come to terms with it, but I've been feeling ashamed, and destroyed, and tired about it. Its just too much.

I wanted to hear someone else's thoughts, opinions, on their own struggle.

I decided to talk to my friend Alexis about what she thought,

This is what she told me, word for word:

Me: Who are you?
Alexis: *shrugs shoulders*
Me: Did you ever struggle with your identity?
Alexis: Yup. *continues eating taquito* Like, I don't know, I was just confused. I went from a tomboy to super girly person as a teenager. I just like girls. But I denied it for a long time. Because I was scared.
I didn't think I fit the category for someone who liked girls.
Like, it was just weird.
I thought you had to be masculine. I was a girly girl who liked...girly girls.
I didn't know it was possible.
Me: How did you end up coming to terms with your identity?
Alexis: I realized I didn't change. The person I liked didn't change who I was. I guess, after, when people were supportive, that helped too.

So, I think I've built a good enough support system around me.
My friends, some teachers, some other people at school, they care about me. Some of them love me. Love who I am no matter what.
I just need to work on loving myself more.
I'm gonna hang in there. Being me isn't too bad.

Tell me y'all, what's your identity? Maybe a part of yourself you used to be ashamed of. How did you, if you did, come to terms with it? If you haven't come to terms with it, are you trying to? How are you doing that?

To the people who care:

Mrs.B pulled me aside a little while ago, 

She was concerned.

Apparently, some of y'all were also concerned.

About what I posted last night.

About me.

You shared your concerns with her.

She said, "People who you wouldn't even expect to read your blog, told me they were worried."

So, to the people who care:

Thank you.

Its people like you, who make me believe there's still hope for this generation, for humanity.

Fuck, I'm so dramatic. Sorry about that.

But seriously, 

Thank you for caring.

If I knew who y'all were, I'd give y'all hugs. (Not weird)

<3

I wasn't trying to post twice today but...

I wasn't trying to post twice today.
Nobody even fucking cares.
Who looks at this blog?
No one. Except for me, and maybe a couple of my friends.

The thing is, after today, I feel so alone.
People always tell you, "you are not alone".
I don't know if I can take this anymore.

What's the point of educating people
If no one is listening?
What's the point of standing up for what's right
If no one gives a fuck?

I felt so much shame
And so much disappointment

People who tried to make me feel better about the situation,
telling me,
You should expect this,
The world is going to be worse.

Yes. Yes. Yes.
I fucking know.
Okay?
I fucking know.

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry y'all,
I'm sorry I expected to be treated like a fucking human being.
I'm sorry I wanted someone to acknowledge people like me exist.
I'm sorry that I thought the BLA community was better than that.
I thought we were educated.
I thought
I thought
I thought

I want to give up,
but I want to believe there is someone out there,
who needs my help.
Or who sees what I'm doing, coming out, and feels safer.

But I don't feel safe right now y'all.
I really
really
don't.

I'm done.

"Why are we talking about Trannies* in math class?"

I feel really shitty guys,
I've been really upset ever since this happened today.

So picture it, 3rd period Statistics class.
I'm hungry, I'm tired, and class is almost over.

We're going over a problem when the teacher makes a comment about there being like a zero percent chance of a guy getting pregnant.

She forgot that isn't true.
She forgot I was in the room.

Everyone agrees with her though.

I don't know why I wanted to pick a fight today.
I usually pick my battles.
This wasn't even that important.
But I had to--

"Some guys can get pregnant",  I say.

Everyone is like, what? That doesn't make sense!

"Well, some guys, Transgender guys, or otherwise, have vaginas. They can get pregnant".

More confusion.
Embarrassment sets in.
I felt sick to my stomach.

One kid goes,
"Why are we talking about Trannies* in math class?"

At that moment, I literally died.
I fucking died.
I was right,
But I looked like the dumbest fucking person.
Everyone was laughing.

The commotion died down and my teacher gave us our homework assignment.

The bell rang.

And then,
I start crying.
I start sobbing and shaking so hard.
Someone in my class and the teacher ran over to comfort me.
But I couldn't be comforted.
They just didn't understand.

I met up with my best friend.
I felt a little better.
But I still felt terrible.
Just last week I broke down because I just wanted to be normal.

I understand that people don't understand.
They don't understand me,
They don't understand people like me.

So I get that people were confused.
They didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

But,
I just felt so sad,
Like I didn't exist.
I was sitting right there and I didn't exist.

You don't think stuff like this can happen,
Until it happens to you.
And it hurts.

I wrote something in the study I had next,
instead of doing math homework:

"Untitled
I forgot to choose my battles.
I forgot that I was different, until I was reminded.
I forgot, that when your identity is strange to others,
You have to remember.

You can't forget to watch the way you dress
Watch the way you act
Watch how loud or happy or proud you are
In fact, don't be proud at all.

Monitor yourself.
Make sure you're "unclockable".
Make sure you aren't "too gay".
Pull your pants up.
Take your hoodie off.
Be a man.
Be white.
Be straight.
Be rich.
Be mentally stable.
Be cis.
Be able to walk, and see, and hear.
Be Christian.
Be normal.
Be normal.
Be normal.
Be normal.

No.

Fuck normal!
Be human.
Look how you want to look.
Say what you want.
Feel how you feel.
Be every color of the rainbow.
Be gay, straight, bi, whatever else, or nothing at all.
Believe in whatever the fuck you want, or don't believe in things you don't want to believe in.
Believe in yourself.
Be all you can be and do all you can do.
Defy expectations.
Remember your strengths.
Remember your weaknesses.
Be wrong.
Be right.
Be real.
Be love.
Be loud.
Be proud.
Be you."



*Tranny is an offensive term for the Trans community. The same way the N word is offensive when referring to Black/People of Color.
Don't use it.