"Know your pronouns, they're so easy
Know your pronouns, please respect me,
Please know your pronouns,
Please know your pronouns!
He, She, They/Them, Ze/Zim/Zir!
And many more!!!"
That is a song from my upcoming musical Louder Than Words!
Some of you may be saying to yourselves,
"Kyle! What the heck is a pronoun? Why do I have to know what they are?"
To that I respond,
Very good question friend!
A pronoun is a word you use when referring to someone when you aren't using their name.
For example, She/Her/Hers, or They/Them/Theirs. They come in sets.
They are a part of someone's self identification, so respect a persons pronouns.
How do you know what someone's pronouns are?
Ask them politely!
Some of you are probably saying,
"But Kyle, They/Them/Theirs pronouns aren't grammatically correct!"
And to that I say,
Stop. The point of using someone's pronouns is to demonstrate that you respect their identity, and that you want them to feel safe around you. If you think that an arbitrary system of rules is more important than making other people feel accepted and safe, that's a big problem.
I get it, when I first met people who didn't use She/Her/Hers or He/Him/His pronouns I messed up all the time.
But I realized, this is a part of who this person is, and by not even trying to call them by the correct pronouns, I'm being really disrespectful.
And then I realized I was Transgender.
It gets frustrating people calling me she all the time, when my pronouns are He/Him/His.
People don't ask, they just assume because of the way I dress, and thats something I have to deal with.
People can get called the wrong pronouns all day, it gets really discouraging.
As an ally, you have the chance to show someone you care, so do it!
Some of you are probably saying,
"But Kyle, They/Them/Theirs pronouns aren't grammatically correct!"
And to that I say,
Stop. The point of using someone's pronouns is to demonstrate that you respect their identity, and that you want them to feel safe around you. If you think that an arbitrary system of rules is more important than making other people feel accepted and safe, that's a big problem.
I get it, when I first met people who didn't use She/Her/Hers or He/Him/His pronouns I messed up all the time.
But I realized, this is a part of who this person is, and by not even trying to call them by the correct pronouns, I'm being really disrespectful.
And then I realized I was Transgender.
It gets frustrating people calling me she all the time, when my pronouns are He/Him/His.
People don't ask, they just assume because of the way I dress, and thats something I have to deal with.
People can get called the wrong pronouns all day, it gets really discouraging.
As an ally, you have the chance to show someone you care, so do it!
I'd also like to add that just because someone identifies with a certain gender (or not), doesn't necessarily mean they use certain pronouns.
Like, just because someone identifies as a woman, maybe they don't feel like She/Her/Hers pronouns feel right to them, so they use They/Them/Theirs for their pronouns.
When you're introducing yourself to someone, or letting someone know your pronouns, refrain from saying things like, "Male pronouns" when you mean He/Him/His or "Female pronouns" when you mean She/Her/Hers, or gendering any other pronouns.
Just because someone isn't a girl or boy, doesn't mean they can't use those pronouns, and when you say "Male", "Female", "Feminine", or Masculine" pronouns,
it implies that you have to be a certain gender to use certain pronouns.
Anyone can use any set of pronouns that feels right for them.
Here's a chart I made, with different pronouns people use:
(There are many more, Look them up!)
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