Trans Day Of Remembrance 2015: The Boston Observance

Hey Y'all, 

Yesterday was Boston's observance of TDOR. 

I didn't take as many pictures because I really wanted to be in the moment and to really mourn our fallen siblings, and reflect on the future action I will take to make the future a brighter and better place for us all. I also didn't take many pictures as a safety precaution. This part of the community is high at risk for being murdered, specifically Black Trans women. I didn't want to put people at risk here. 

But anyway, for those of y'all who couldn't make it, for whatever reason, 

Here are some photos of the evening:

This is St.Paul's church in Downtown, where the event was held. The inside was very beautiful, and everyone was warm and welcoming. 

Before the ceremony started: (From left to right)

Cameron, Eri, Sami, Julyn, Jasper, Me :D

Here's my candle, representing one of the folks whose life was lost. Their name was on the cup holding the candle. 

In addition to this candle, I had to read two more names. The person passing out the other names still had a pile when they reached the end of the circle. Some cards didn't have names. 

There were more names this year than ever before. 

After the potluck, we went to Primark just to hang out and be in good company and be glad we're alive.

 Alive to fight the systems that want us to die. 

We won't die. 

From left to right (front row): Olly, Julyn, Cameron, Me

Left to right (back row): Taqari, Tayleece, Eri

My mission is to decrease the number of names said by next year. The number of people whose lives were taken. 

What's your mission?

Names + Pronouns

Here are everyone's Pronouns (words to use to refer to someone when you aren't using their name)

Remember to ask, and not assume people's pronouns:

Cameron- They/them/theirs, Ne/nem/nirs

Eri-  They/them/theirs, She/her/hers, He/him/his

Sami- She/her/hers

 Julyn- She/her/hers

Jasper/Jazz- They/them/theirs

Me (Kyle)- He/him/his, They/them/theirs, Xe/xem/xyrs, Feel free to mix it up

Olly- They/them/theirs

Taqari- He/him/his

Tayleece- She/her/hers

Transgender Day Of Remembrance 2015

Hi Everyone, 

Yesterday was Transgender Day Of Remembrance. 

Transgender Day Of Remembrance is, as quoted from the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition Website:

"The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) memorializes individuals who have died throughout the world in the previous year because of anti-transgender hatred. Each November, the worldwide transgender community turns its attention to family, friends and loved ones lost to violence and prejudice. A tradition inspired by the Allston, MA vigil for slain transsexual Rita Hester in 1998, this day has become the worldwide rallying point for a community long under siege."

It's a sad day, but it's important that we take time to remember the fallen members of our community and realize that we have much to do when it comes to making this a safer world for everyone, especially Black Trans Women who have been the majority of the victims slain in the US this year. 

So tomorrow is the day Boston is observing TDOR, here is the info:

Here is some art that folks made about what they call, Trans Day Of Resilience, across the nation:

"Trans and gender non-conforming people of color face disproportionate rates of violence and poverty. But we are also thriving and leading movements for social justice. The Trans Day of Resilience Art Project tells our stories of trans power, vision, and leadership."

For the rest of the art, the link is here: 

http://tdor.co/?utm_source=SMGuide&utm_medium=Instagram&utm_content=SFPartner&utm_campaign=BLM?utm_source=&utm_medium=&utm_campaign=

At MAP for Health, we wanted to take action in some way, and offer support to our Trans siblings. 

We decided to write letters of love and created a video where we read our letters. Here is a link to the Facebook page where the video is:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=918551361554576&substory_index=0&id=505139342895782

It would be great for y'all to join us tomorrow at St.Paul's church to observe TDOR, 

Hope to see you there!

Trick or Treat! Halloween Events this upcoming week!

Hello my Little Pumpkins!

How are you on this spooky October day? Frightastic I hope!

As you can see by my lingo, I'm very excited for Halloween and so are a bunch of organizations in the Boston area, you should check them out:

Asian Pride at MAP for Health

Asian Pride is an open, safe space in Boston where Asian and Pacific Islander LGBTQQIA+ youth, ages 16-24, can come together to make friends & learn how to lead healthy lives. 

You don't have to be API to come, you can be an ally to the community. 

Everyone is welcome!

This Monday is the Halloween Hangout!

There will be food, candy, costumes, and music!

Meet new people and decorate pumpkins!

Next up is Boston GLASS, 

An organization committed to serving LGBTQQIA+ people of color. Some of the services are helping them find housing, counseling services, free and confidential HIV/STI testing, and more. 

Just like MAP for Health, allies are welcome to the space. 

There are two Halloween events!

There will be Pumpkin carving on Wednesday afternoon and on Friday afternoon there will be a costume swap!

I hope to see y'all there!

The countdown is on!

Decade of Black and Pink Celebration: October 16th, 2015!

Hey Y'all!

Last night I went to a most awesome celebration!

This year is the 10th year anniversary of the organization Black and Pink!

The purpose of Black and Pink is:

"Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our work toward the abolition* of the prison industrial complex is rooted in the experience of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the prison industrial complex against LGBTQ people, and respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing."

Prisons have a disproportionate number of Black folks and folks within the LGBTQQIA+ community incarcerated within them. 

A lot of them being Black Trans women in particular.

They are abused, physically and mentally, the conditions are horrific, and they are isolated from the outside world. 

This organization does amazing things by lending their support to our siblings in the system, sending letters through their pen pal program, and more!

It was really great to celebrate all this organization has accomplished within the last 10 years, and I can't wait to get involved with them more. 

This weekend, they had a party, and they are having workshops, healing sessions, and a movie screening!

I will put a link to the website at the bottom of the page if you are interested in getting involved, or just want to see more about what they're about and their mission. 

So like I was saying, last night was the 10 year celebration party, and it was so awesome!

Here's some of what happened last night:

The program booklet!

This was our emcee for the night, Sasha Taylor!

She's won a lot of pageant titles and she's a fabulous artist, one of her water color paintings is behind her. She's also formerly incarcerated and has been a member of Black and Pink for several years.

This is my homie Olly Bear eating a slice of the Black and Pink birthday cake!

Here's Julyn and Dyme, grooving in their seats while the festivities begun. 

Me and Bey.

I fell in love with them even more last night.

Cece McDonald was one of the speakers last night. She received the "Out of Control" award for her work as an outspoken fighter in the movements for LGBTQ liberation, prison abolition, and racial justice!

Here's Janetta Johnson, she's going to become the executive director of the Transgender Gender Variant Intersex Justice Project in California!

She spoke on behalf of Miss Major, one of the nation's leaders in Transgender Rights since she was one of the leader's of the Stonewall Riots, along with Marsha P.Johnson and Sylvia Rivera.

                                    

This is Sasha's performance!

                                      

Shout out to the Boston GLASS youth for their dope voguing performance!

All in all, it was a beautiful night filled with love!

I encourage you all to get involved with this organization!

Happy Birthday Black and Pink!

Pronouns:

Sasha Taylor- She/her

Olly- They/them

Julyn- She/her

Dyme- She/her

Me- He/him/his, They/them/theirs, Xe/xem/xyrs, feel free to mix it up!

Cam (aka Bey)- They/them or Ne/nem/nirs

Cece McDonald-She/her

Janetta Johnson- She/her

*Abolition: The action or an act of ending a system, practice, or institution.

For more info go to: http://www.blackandpink.org

Happy National Coming Out Day!!!

Hello Friends!

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I might have mentioned this before, so don't worry if you have the question:

"Hey Kyle, I know you've mentioned this before, but what in the heck is coming out?"

Because I'll remind you, 

Coming out of the closet otherwise known as coming out is: 

When you tell others (or come to terms with your identity and let yourself know) that you identify as part of the LGBTQQIA+ community. 

Another question you might be asking:

"Well, why the heck would we celebrate that? Thousands of people come out every day at any given moment. What makes it so special?"

Because we still aren't seen as the norm. A lot of us have to come out all day everyday, and it can be really difficult, and scary, so its cool to be able to celebrate it. Also, if you haven't come out or don't want to come out because of circumstances or just for any reason, you can read people's stories, maybe see how they came out. It can give hope to people who feel hopeless and aren't in safe situations. Also, its a day where you can come out if you haven't yet, but want to. Or you can give others support and love when they share their stories. 

I wanted to do my part on NCOD, 

So I asked a couple of friends of mine to share their stories here. 

I hope y'all appreciate them as much as I do.

Name: Amara
Pronouns: She/her/hers
School: UMASS Boston
Likes: Witchcraft, videogames, aliens, and music :)
Dislikes: Bigotry, straight white boys, mushroom pizza
About me: I am a transgender woman of color going to school to become involved with social justice movements in the United States and around the world. I want to do everything in my power to help the world become a safe haven for all people, of all creeds, races, religions, sexualities, nationalities, and genders.
Coming Out Story: I came out in a fight with my dad when I was 14 years old. My friend was over and my dad was arguing with me incessantly about something, I can't remember the specifics. But it escalated and he was yelling at me about being a man and how I'm weak and feminine and so I snapped and yelled at him that I wasn't a man to begin with. Surprisingly, my dad responded with "I know."
Not in a condescending way, but in a very matter-of-factly way, with a sad look in his eyes. Since then, he and my other parents (stepmom and stepdad) have been incredibly supportive of me. I've had all of the cards stacked against me since birth, but for whatever reason, I've managed to make it this far, with only a couple dents and scratches. So I consider myself to be privileged, even if I'm not privileged in the traditional sense.

Name: Julyn
Pronouns: she/her/hers
School: UMass Boston
Likes: food, new friends, reading, writing, anime, music, and sweet things.
Dislikes: Rude people, country music, bitter things.
About me: Hey y'all, my mame's Julyn and I identify as bi. When I was young, I was never ashamed of being lgbtq, but was afraid to come out because I never heard anyone in my family talk about being lgbtq in a positive way.
Coming Out Story: I came out to my father last year after thinking on it for a while and it went well. I came out to a few other family members and that got me thinking about coming out; how we come out, why we come out, and who we come out to.
We come out for a variety of different reasons, and stay in for many of the same. Because of culture, because of finances, because of housing, because of family, friends, or significant others, because we're scared, because we're not, because we want to, because we shouldn't have to.
Who we come out to, when we come to them, and we do it, plus the above factors can have an affect on how our coming out is received.
Coming out to the few people I did, and getting different reactions from both them and myself, made me realize that I hated it. Coming out isn't a one time thing, but a process that we repeat to different people in different parts of our lifes. l realized that I didn't want to come out to everyone, and that I shouldn't have to. Coming out isn't a requirement of being lgbtq, and it sure isn't required of straight people.
Come to who you want to, or don't at all, maybe you don't even have a closet, maybe you'd like to but something or a lot of things are holding you back. Regardless of your closet status, if you have one, your choice is valid and the best one for you. Happy national coming out day to those that are out, don't yet know they're lgbtq, know they can't or won't ever come out, are partially out, and out to everyone they know, and those that don't feel the need to.

Don't Deadname!

To deadname:

"To call someone by their birth name, their legal name, the name they used to use, aka their deadname, even though they use a new one now."

-Me

So I'm sitting in class the other day right, and my teacher brings up Trans people. 

He starts talking about Caitlyn Jenner, and he's referring to her as her deadname and the pronouns she used to go by. 

So I'm like, okay, my professor is an older guy, she did go by those pronouns and that other name for a long time, so cut him some slack. 

But like, it has been a while since she has started going Caitlyn and using she/her pronouns, 

And you know what?

Even if it hadn't been a while, he should have at least made the effort. 

Its a matter of respect. 

I bet you're going, 

"But Kyle, I'm sure it wasn't on purpose, I'm sure he didn't mean to be disrespectful, be patient with the guy."

And to that I say, okay, but it doesn't matter if the person had good intentions or bad intentions, I'm sure my teacher had good intentions though, because in the end, its still the same feeling of hurt and disappointment someone will feel. 

Even if they aren't Trans! It still hurts. 

If your name is Paprika and someone is calling you Peppermint, 

Wouldn't that piss you off?

Wouldn't you be like, Mother Fucker, my name is Paprika!

But even more so, if you open up to someone, and in Caitlyn's case, the whole fucking world, and you're just praying that people call you the right name and pronouns. 

That's all they have to do because you're doing the hard part of being brave enough to share yourself with the world, even though you're scared of how people will react. 

You just want them to embrace your identity, validate your existence. That you aren't a mistake,

And they can't even do that for you?

Can you even imagine how that feels?

Now you may be going, 

"Damn Kyle, you're getting hella deep and kinda dramatic, settle down. But I'm starting to see where you're coming from. So, I have another question."

Yes friend?

"Doesn't it make sense to call someone by their deadname if I'm talking about them in the past?

Like, can't I call you by your deadname if I'm talking about the person you used to be?"

Good question, but no. You call people by the name they use. You can still talk about that person and how they used to be and how much they've grown without using their deadname and old pronouns. 

"Okay Kyle, I have one last question. What are some ways I can support someone when deadnaming happens?"

If you are in the room with the person who did the deadnaming (unless it is the person referring to themselves), correct them. 

If the person who has had this happen to them comes to you, ask what you can do to make them feel comfortable, and use their correct name and pronouns with them. 

Also, a person can refer to themselves by their deadname and pronouns. 

If they do, maybe they forgot because they too are learning to embrace their new name and pronouns or maybe they just wanted to in the moment. 

We are all learning, and of course we can all make mistakes, but put in your best effort!

Featured This Week: Elsa!!! :D

Hi Everyone, long time no see!

I've been hella busy with school, and different events I was volunteering for and planning, but also navigating my mental disabilities as well. Its been a tough time. 

But, I finally have a free morning where I can just blog, blog, blog. 

So, I'm going to introduce to you our friend of the week. 

I met this friend this past summer through another mutual friend. 

I learned in only a few short hours that this friend is a beautiful writer, a loyal friend, and over our conversations in the past months,  will try to cheer me up through hard times. 

She is so understanding, and did I mention she lives in a completely different time zone?

Here's Elsa!!!

(All this info she gave me word for word)

Name: Elsa Sandbach

Pronouns: She/Her

School/Where from: Santa Catalina School (boarding school), from San Francisco, CA

Likes: writing, Violet Chachki’s fashion sense, anything illustrated by Maira Kalman, terrible indie movies about queer folks, building snowmen, polenta, and cats.

Dislikes: the word pulsate, seagulls that take my food, the screams of the young ones of this world when dissatisfied with life, tiny splinters that refuse to come out but make themselves very known and very painful, the shells on peanuts, and mint tea.

About me:
I am a rather peculiar sixteen-year-old lesbian. I came out freshman year to my parents via an email and all that was sent back was, “we know.” I tumbled out of my very small closet into a very accepting and loving environment and the few friends I lost along the way due to being true to who I am evidently just weren’t worth my rainbows nor my monthly unicorn rides off into the sunset while playing Beyoncé.
 I absolutely adore writing and plan on being a very broke author when I am old enough to lay claim to having a career. I have five siblings not including in laws and entirely too few cats. I probably swear and eat far too much but I’m squishy and soft and the best people have no filters so I’m sure it’s all just part of some grand scheme to make me loved worldwide so I keep on keeping on with my third almond croissant this meal and my fuck everything attitude.